“When I found out that I was pregnant, I resolved to a b o rt the child since I didn’t know exactly who was responsible among the numerous men I was sleeping with. I needed enough money to carry out the abortion in a specialist’s center suggested by a friend of mine, so I told the rich man that promised to sponsor me in the higher institution that I was pregnant for him, because according to my calculation, he was the only man I slept with the previous month without protection.

The man became very angry with me and ordered me to go and a b o r t the child in my womb even before I could tell him my plans.

” Do you want to destroy my marriage? I’m married with three beautiful kids for crying out loud. I’m giving you the sum of twenty thousand naira right now and you are to go and remove that thing in your womb first thing tomorrow morning.” He said searching himself immediately, brought out a huge amount of money and counted the sum of twenty thousand naira out to me. Twenty thousand naira was a huge amount of money then and that day was my first day of handling such amount of money.

The money was more than enough to carry out the abortion, pay a one year rent for me and also buy me anything I needed for that period, but when i saw how desperate he wanted me to abort the child, i asked him to top the money for me with an extra ten thousand naira and he did immediately without saying a word.

So, I became a big girl at the age of nineteen, but I wasn’t still contented as I saw the pregnancy as a means of making more money. I started telling other men I had slept with that they were responsible for my pregnancy and that I needed money to go for an abortion, many of them responded by giving me the amount of money I requested for and in less than two months, I had over a hundred thousand naira without my parent’s knowledge.

I went to the specialist center in the company of my friend for the abortion and it was done but little did I know that the abortion was not successfully done. I had a set of twins in my tommy but only one got aborted, Temi went and hid himself at a hinder place so the abortion knives didn’t touch him nor did the pills affected him. More surprising was the fact that I didn’t know I was pregnant until about seven months later, I was busy s l e e p i n g around with men not knowing I was carrying a child in my womb, yet I was seeing my period monthly and my tommy didn’t protrude in anyway.

So there was nothing to give me a clue that I was pregnant until the day my health broke down, that I started taking malaria drugs but there was no improvement, so I decided to go for test since I had enough money. When the test result came out, I was told the unimaginable and I bursted out in a long laugh.

“That’s not possible” I argued when I was told that I was seven months pregnant.
“I saw my period last month and for the past few months, I have been seeing my period. Look here at my stomach, how possible is it that seven months pregnancy has not changed my outward looks, and my stomach is still as flat as it used to be..” I continued until the doctor halted me.
“Young lady, from the scan carried out on you because of your complaints of constant stomach cramps, it’s discovered that your case is that of an ectopic pregnancy and in most ectopic pregnancy cases, there are usually no physical traces of pregnancy like a heavily protruding stomach on the women.

So, your case is not in any way different from the normal ectopic pregnancy cases..” The doctor explained making me more confused with his medical jargons.
“Ectopic pregnancy? Can you explain to me what that mean please?” I asked with a worried countenance.
“Calm down young girl, you don’t have to be worried for the sake of your condition and that of your precious child…” The doctor began when he saw how worried I was.
“You see, ectopic pregnancy is a complication of pregnancy in which the embryo attaches outside the uterus. Signs and symptoms usually include abdominal pain or cramps and vaginal bleeding…” The doctor was explaining professionally and the more he explained, the more confused I became.

“Doctor can you please explain it to me in a layman English?” I asked almost losing my patience.
“There’s nothing more to explain, what I’ve been saying is that the child in your womb is located outside the womb which is the perfect place a child should be formed. And for your information, you are to get ready to birth the child through surgical operation, or else, we may lose both you and the child.”
The doctor said in finality and fear gripped my heart. I went straight to my friend’s house and told her everything the doctor said but she didn’t accept the doctor’s report as true.

She suggested I go for another pregnancy test and if found positive, I should go back to the abortion specialist to wash my stomach. It was the abortion appointment I was preparing to go for the next day after the second test confirmed me pregnant, then I had a terrible dream where I went for the abortion and died in the abortion theatre.
I became afraid and told my friends that I won’t be able to do the abortion stuff anymore, they urged me to go for it but I insisted I was not going because I was very much afraid of death. I didn’t know how my religious parents will take the news of my pregnancy, and i was afraid my poor mother will die from the shock , so with the money I had gathered, I ran away from home and traveled far away from home to Benin city where I paid for an apartment which would last for four months then got myself registered in a hospital for the surgical operation.

It was my plan that after the operation and the child survives, I would dump it in a gutter or at any motherless baby home environment or better still find a buyer and then go back home and continue my life as if nothing happened. So I waited for the appointment day given to me by the doctor for the delivery and hired a Benin woman as my mother since the hospital insisted a relation must come with me to the hospital for the surgical operation.

The doctor injected me with an anaesthesia and in no time, I slept off , then the operation began on my tommy. The operation was still on going when I passed out and died. I knew I died because I saw myself standing beside my body on the hospital bed and watched how the doctors were battling to resuscitate me back to life when they found out I was no longer breathing. I stood there watching them helplessly when suddenly, a man clothed in black appeared in the theatre and beckoned on me to come forward; like someone under a remote control I began to follow the dark creature and we kept walking to an unknown destination through a very fearful road.

I became afraid when I couldn’t see anybody passed through the same road, except for the strange fearful noises I was hearing, coming from the two sides of the wide but dreadful road.
“Where are you taking me to?” I summoned the courage and asked the dark being and he turned and stared into my eyes with a red blood eyes.
“To the place where you live forever!” He shouted in response.
“No! Please take me back, am tired!” I shouted back at him trying to halt my movement but a strange wind kept pushing me forward as the strange man moved.

“Shut up your mouth! You have no choice here anymore. When you were on the other side of the world, you had the choice to live your life aright and chose the best place where only the saints go, but you chose this path instead. Therefore, you are to spend your life in darkness and pain under the torment of the great dragon in the place I am taking you. Do not say a word anymore because we are getting very close to the holy gate, where the RIGHTEOUS ONE will judge your case and officially hand you over to us as food for consumption.” The black being warned me and I lifted up my eyes and saw a beautiful gate ahead of us. The beauty of it is better not described with words because it was beyond description for me, then I remembered how my father used to describe the gate of heaven to us in the church when I was still growing up as a child.

But I just realized that his descriptions were nothing close to the glory I was seeing before me. I suddenly began to remember every thing that my father used to teach us during our morning devotion that when we get to heaven, there would be no darkness because the glory of God shall be the light that will tabernacle the whole place and that there shall be no pain nor sorrow…

“If this is true, then this black being is about to take me to a different place and not heaven because he just told me a while ago that I will live in darkness and pain…” I was still thinking in my mind when we arrived the beautiful gate…

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